Every year I say to myself, “man, I hate Hollywood awards shows. They’re always so predictable and those that really deserve it generally never win.” And then every single year I find myself clamoring through the live updates for the announcements of the nominees and then staying up way past my bedtime to watch the ceremony live. Because, as you’re probably guessed by now, I hate spoilers. And I secretly love Hollywood awards shows.
The Golden Globes’s movie category is the kid-sister of the Oscars. They’re not as well-respected, but it’s still nonetheless a great achievement to say you have one. I mean, I don’t have one. And I’m guessing you probably don’t have one*, either. So, they’re kind of a big deal.
* If you do, please get in touch. We’d love to hear from you.
And so, without further ado, here’s our predictions on who will win and who should win at this year’s Golden Globes (Movie categories. Television later. Too much at one time.). Word of warning, though. There will be added snark.
- Django Unchained
- Silver Linings Playbook
- Zero Dark Thirty
Well, well, well. Isn’t this a pretty bunch? Unfortunately, no. Because it’s sorely missing Moonrise Kingdom. With the GG, there is only one screenplay category. I know, I know. There’s enough to get through. But there really should be a comedy/drama or a original/adapted breakdown of the category. So who should win, eh? Probably Zero Dark Thirty. Who will win? Probably Lincoln. Yeah, that’s pretty much all there is to be said here.
Best Animated Feature
- Hotel Transylvania
- Rise of the Guardians
Of the three Disney flicks, Brave is the underdog. However, of the category, as far as who should win: Rise of the Guardians. Who will win? Probably Frankenweenie. Although I wouldn’t rule out Wreck-it-Ralph.
Best Foreign Language Film
- A Royal Affair
- Rust and Bone
- The Intouchables
This is a category I always struggle with because I don’t watch enough foreign films. Also, why is this the only category with the word ‘film’? Anyway, who should win? I can’t honestly make that decision, having not seen them all. Who will win? Amour. C’mon, it’s the only one any of us around here have even heard of.
Best Original Score
- Anna Karenina
- Cloud Atlas
- Life of Pi
Who should and who will win? Lincoln. It’s John Williams for crying out loud. The man is a god.
Best Original Song
- For You – Keith Urban, Act of Valor.
- Not Running Anymore – Bon Jovi, Stand Up Guys.
- Safe & Sound – Taylor Swift, Hunger Games.
- Skyfall – Adele, Skyfall.
- Suddenly – Hugh Jackman, Lés Mis.
Yes, you are seeing that correctly. That’s actually a new Les Mis song. It was written especially for the film. That doesn’t mean it’s any good, though. No. In fact, this is a seriously, seriously, seriously underwhelming category. But to hell with it. Who should win? Taylor Swift because she’s Taylor Swift and she wins lots of things and she wrote my new favourite song of the moment. Who will win? Probably Adele. For that song that goes something like this, “Let the Skyfall, say more Skyfall, did I mention Skyfall?, what rhymes with Skyfall?, oh yes, crumble… am I Shirley Bassey yet?” Ugh. Worst (Bond) song ever.
Best Director – Motion Picture
- Ben Affleck – Argo
- Quentin Tarantino – Django Unchained
- Ang Lee – Life of Pi
- Steven Speilberg – Lincoln
- Kathryn Bigelow – Zero Dark Thirty
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
- Alan Arkin – Argo
- Christoph Waltz – Django Unchained
- Leonardo Di Caprio – Django Unchained
- Tommy Lee Jones – Lincoln
- Philip Seymour Hoffman – The Master
Who should win? Christoph Waltz or PSH. I can’t decide between them. But that’s not important. What’s important is who’s going to win it, right? And that would be… Let’s go for Christoph.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
- Anne Hathaway – Les Mis(can’t be bothered typing the rest)
- Sally Field – Lincoln
- Amy Adams – The Master
- Nicole Kidman – The Paperboy
- Helen Hunt – The Sessions
There’s really only one person in this category isn’t there? I mean, there isn’t a hope in hell that anyone else will win it, right? Well if I were a betting man, I’d put my money on her, anyway. So that person is, of course, Anne Hathaway. I mean, I like Anne Hathaway. Well, I don’t dislike Anne Hathaway. And she did play a superb malnourished hooker with a voice of pure snow. And by gosh, if Jennifer Hudson can do it, Anne Hathaway can too. (Note: Jennifer Hudson is a terrible actor. Just to be clear.)
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
- Jack Black – Bernie
- Bill Murray – Hyde Park on Hudson
- Hugh Jackman – Les Mis
- Ewan McGregor – Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
- Bradley Cooper – Silver Linings Playbook
I like this category. And I (hope and) believe that the winner is the deserved winner. And that is Bradley Cooper for the wonderful Silver Linings Playbook.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
- Meryl Streep – Hope Springs
- Maggie Smith – Quartet
- Emily Blunt – Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
- Jennifer Lawrence – Silver Linings Playbook
- Judi Dench – The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Judi Dench, Maggie Smith and Meryl Streep. Talk about a holy trinity of acting. Pity the movies are generally weak. So when it comes to this category, I don’t think any of them are going to get it. I think it’s Jennifer Lawrence‘s turn to take the gong.
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
- Les Mis(still can’t be bothered)
- Moonrise Kingdom
- Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
- Silver Linings Playbook
- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Who should win? Moonrise Kingdom. Hands down. What a great film. Oh yeah, who will win? Probably Les Mis. Although Silver Linings Playbook could nab it as a surprise winner of the night.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
- Helen Mirren – Hitchcock
- Naomi Watts – The Impossible
- Rachel Weisz – The Deep Blue Sea
- Marion Cotillard – Rust and Bone
- Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty
I’m just going to come right out and say that Jessica Chastain is fast becoming my favourite actress of recent times. She really delivers every time she’s on screen. And her turn in Zero Dark Thirty is nothing short of spectacular. So she should and most definitely will win.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
- Richard Gere – Arbitrage
- Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln
- Denzel Washington – Flight
- Joaquin Phoenix – The Master
- John Hawkes – The Sessions
Again, this is Mr Day-Lewis‘s to lose. But it wouldn’t be so bad if he lost to fellow crazy-ass method actor Joaquin Phoenix.
Best Motion Picture – Drama
- Django Unchained
- Life of Pi
- Zero Dark Thirty
This is a tough, tough year to be anything except Lincoln. Which is unfortunate, because in any other year, any of these movies would clean up. Particularly Argo and Zero Dark Thirty. Can we get a category just for them and award them everything? And the award for everything goes to “ARGO AND ZERO DARK THIRTY, OMG!”
The obligatory list:
Best Screenplay – Lincoln
Best Animated Feature – Frankenweenie
Best Foreign Language Film – Amour
Best Original Score – Lincoln
Best Original Song – Adele, Skyfall
Best Director – Motion Picture – Stephen Spielberg, Lincoln
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture – Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture – Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical – Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical – Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical – Les Misérables
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama – Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama – Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Best Motion Picture – Drama – Lincoln